Ugh. Why you gotta throw down a challenge like that at 8:37AM?

Let me guess. You also

People like you make me Charlie Brown. Gross. Now move, I’d like to be to work on time.

This. All day, every day, this.

Dear Prius Drivers,

Hi. How are you? I’m doing pretty well, thanks for asking. May I ask you something? Neat. Okay. So, is your car the Pinto for the ’00s? I mean, that’s the only possible explanation I can come up with as to why every single one of you drives with at least two car lengths between yourself and the car in front of you (not to mention driving on an average of 5 MPH slower than the posted speed limit and/or flow of traffic.)

You do know your car isn’t going to explode upon the slightest impact, right? Just because it’s unicorn-magically saving the planet, one 1.3-mile round trip to Whole Foods at a time, doesn’t mean it was engineered to kill you in a bitter reversal of gratitude for your do-gooding.

So please, catch up. Because I’m late for work again and you are driving me mad.

Many thanks, Taryn